Thanksgiving Adventures of the Eye Sort

My eyes have this thing for Thanksgiving time. I swear it. They sense its coming, and WHAM an eye injury pops up like it was coordinated or something. Its becoming a serious problem, I tell you. 

I'm sure most of you remember my last Thanksgiving Eye Catastrophe which ended in me getting two stitches in my eyelid and rocking a lovely black eye the first time I met my (at the time unbeknownst to me future) in-laws. Well, this time around I have an eye issue of entirely different nature.

Probably about a month ago now, I noticed I had some slight loss of my inner peripheral vision of my right eye that is the vision from the center of my eye towards my nose. I got an eye doctor appointment where it was confirmed that I had significant vision loss and was referred to a specialist with various potential diagnoses ranging from a blood clot/stroke of the eye to an aneurysm or a tumor of some sort. Just a little terrifying. I went to the retinal specialist a few days later and was finally given a concrete answer which thankfully included none of the above. I had a detached retina in my right eye which was the reason for my vision loss. The doctor even thought that it might have been a problem long before I noticed it because unfortunately there was already scar tissue and the macula - the center of the retina - had also detached. 

After surgery - looking rough...

Long story short, I had to have surgical repair of my eye on Monday with a procedure called a Scleral Buckle where they place a band of sorts around the eye to press the retina up close to the eye again or something like that. (In the interest of full disclosure, do not youtube this procedure unless you enjoy nasty surgeries. I just watched the first few moments and now realize why it looks like someone ground off the outer layer of my eye. Only made it through the first 20 seconds and decided that was enough education for me for now on my still slightly nauseous stomach.) Anyway, I had surgery on Monday under general anesthesia and apparently things went well. I am still in recovery mode and my vision is still very blurry, but I am hopeful that by the time I have my follow-up appointment on Tuesday I will be doing much better. Namely, because I am sure to go crazy from being stuck in the apartment for long periods of time with nothing to do. Normally, I would try to get my craft on during this time, but of course this is limited by my lack of vision  (my depth perception is dangerous to all involved) and the fact that pain meds make me feel terribly nauseous. So instead, I am limited to mostly sitting around, mostly listening to television as straining my eye for long periods of time is no good, and being bored. Not as appealing as it may sound.

Luckily, before all this non-fun junk occurred, Kevin and I had a couple visitors here in Michigan - Turtle in October and Annie in November. We went out to all our favorite places in Michigan and some new ones too:

•  The Mega Mall - a huge warehouse like building chock full of antiques and junk where Turtle and I each got our own vintage aprons
• SugarBerry - our favorite frozen yogurt by the ounce establishment 
• The Daily Scoop - the local downtown ice cream shop 
• Lake Michigan - my first trip as well as Annie's...it was crazy rough water!
• The Twisted Rooster - a delicious restaurant we found that uses local produce and food to make uber delicious food
• MSU vs U of M Hockey Game - another first for me (and we actually won!)

Who would like to come hang out with the McCulloughs and check out probably most of the above locations because that's about all I know of what to do in Michigan as of yet? Just shoot me a text, email, letter, postcard, or fax and I'll get you all booked! The only requirement is you have to be willing to lead around the one eyed hostess at all public events. 

One of Those Wedding Bloggy Things

Shortly after we were married, Kevin said to me, "Now you can take all the pictures and make one of those wedding bloggy things you were always looking at". So here it is - my DIY wedding blog post. 

Wood Burned Ring Bearer Pillow made by Kate

When Kevin and I got engaged, and if I'm being honest some time before, I was very up front with the fact that I did not want to spend a fortune on a wedding. I didn't see the point in spending money on things I could do myself. I also love the look of homemade things and the thought that goes behind them. Lastly, I am always up for a good craft project. Put all those things together and give a girl access to the Internet and the world of wedding blogs and our day became one big beautiful collaborative DIY extravaganza.

Some of our wedding projects I had previously shown little bits of including the boys' button boutonnieres, our photo-booth props, and our dessert spread of delicious homemade pies. 

The button boutonnieres definitely came out better than I even imagined them. With my lovely sister, Andrea, as a color consultant, we matched up buttons I bought at antique stores and sewed them together and then attached them to floral wire to make the base of the boutonniere. And since Andrea had taken a floral arrangement class in high school, she was nominated to finish off the project by attaching fake leaves and covering the wire with floral tape. The only issue that we encountered with them was the fact that the boys had no idea how to attach them to their shirts. Thank goodness, one of our dear friends, Turtle, was able to come to their rescue. 

These also doubled as fans in the 95 degree heat

Another project we decided to take on for the sake of saving money was our ceremony programs. I had seen a lot of different things online and decided to go with a simple two sided program made out of 8x11 cream card stock that was left over from our favors and invites. All I did was design a simple one page outline of the order of events for the front side and then some fun games for the backside to entertain our guests with. I decided to do three different types of games - a mad-lib, trivia about Kev and I, and a word search.  I bought a box of golf pencils from Staples and used a drill to create a place to run ribbon through to attach the pencils to the the popsicle stick handles of the programs. With some glue and double sided tape, we folded the cardstock in half and secured the posicle stick in the center. And then voila, our programs were done! 


One of the projects that I probably loved doing the most (besides pies baking) was making our cake topper. I had originally planned on purchasing one on Etsy, but with our short engagement and my indecisiveness about which one to get the time line to order by passed me by. I was then down to the options of buying one from a traditional wedding store or making it myself. I decided to at least attempt to make one with supplies from Hobby Lobby. I used a 4 inch wood circle, two simple wooden doll figurines, a piece of a dowel rod, some scraps of fabric, twine, and paint. I will admit that my first attempt at doing the bride's face was not that successful; I ended up looking slightly Asian. However, the second time around was a different story and that is the one we went with for our cake (which one of our groomsmen's aunts made for us). 



I will admit that not all of our DIY wedding was fun and enjoyable. There were some projects that seemed never ending. Favors were a marathon event that Kevin, Andrea, and myself participated in. Our favors were wildflower seed packets made of burlap, tissue paper, and twine and probably cost us less than twenty dollars total. The price alone made the project worth it, but in the middle of the mess it was a little hard to remember that. It wasn't that the project was hard; it just involved cutting up square pieces of burlap and tissue and tying up little bits of seeds with twine with little tags attached. It was more the monotony of it; cut, dump seeds, fold up, and tie. Repeat. But at least it only lasted a few hours. 

The box of flowers & the finished project on the table

The next project took probably over half the time we were engaged - centerpieces. I decided to start making paper flowers early on in our engagement, but didn't really know where I was going to fit them into our decorations. I just kept finding different variations online and slowly but surely filled a large cardboard box with flowers. I can recall several nights sitting in the apartment alone watching TV and folding and gluing paper for hours at a time. We ended up hot gluing the flowers to twigs we found around camp and then placing them in glass bottles that we and our friends had found down along the banks of Dewey Lake.

Although, I had my hands in a lot of different DIY parts of our wedding, there were some things that I completely turned over to other people. Kevin and I are blessed to know a lot of very crafty, talented, generous people who willingly helped us with various projects that we could not possibly handle. My maid of honor and one of my bestest friends, Staci, was instrumental in all the decorations for our ceremony site and just in general keeping me sane. She made a beautiful background out of window shutters and old decking boards for us to stand in front of for the ceremony. She also sewed the curtains for the sides of the chapel and made the hanging flower filled jars that lined the aisle. Best maid of honor EVER.

Vintage Inspired Bunting Banner

Kevin's mom is a very talented seamstress and she agreed to make the bunting banners that we used down at the reception tent. We love them so much that they are currently hanging up in our living room and they make me smile every day. When I decided I couldn't bear the thought of spending fifty dollars on a veil, she even helped me pick out tulle and actually made my veil (for less than ten dollars in supplies). I couldn't have bought a more perfect veil and the penny pincher inside of me was doubly excited.



 One other big project that we could not do ourselves was a photo-booth. I asked my old crew leader, Tony, if he would be willing to undertake that project. He, in his typical style, went above and beyond and made the most amazing photo booth wall ever. I mean he put in a little bit of molding on the bottom and installed an outlet and light switch to make it more authentic looking. I'm sure if there was electricity at our reception he would have wired it up as well. And not only did he make our photo-booth, he also sketched out the tree for our thumbprint 'guest book'. I just sent him a picture of something I had seen and and idea of what size I would need and he did the rest. Now we have a beautiful unique piece of art that hangs in our living room to remind us of everyone that shared our special day with us. 

I told you, we know some extremely talented people.

So I'm sure that is not all of the crazy DIY nonsense that we decided to take on and delegate out for our wedding, but hopefully it gives a sense of the homemade feeling we wanted our special day to have. I would highly recommend that if you are planning on getting married any time soon or really planning any sort of large party to try and first see what projects you can tackle yourself or recruit a friend to help with. It makes everything really unique and personalized to you and allows you to spend a little more money on things that you maybe can't do yourself or really just don't want to.

Five Months into Forever

Have no fear dear friends, I did not fall off the edge of the earth upon getting married as my lack of blogging may lead you to believe. I have just been enjoying and adjusting to life as a married woman with my oh so sweet husband. 

Our wedding was so absolutely perfect. Although the weather was sweltering and I'm pretty sure that I sweat more than any bride should be allowed to on her wedding day. We were surrounded by our friends and family and everything went more perfectly than we could have planned it. The chapel was beautiful, the ceremony went smoothly, our reception was an absolute blast, and we even managed to pull of the pie baking marathon of the century the night before. Getting married at camp where we met was the best decision we could have made and I am so glad that we were able to start our married life right where we first met. 

View from one of the docks at the cabin

After our wedding, we got to spend some much needed vacation time up north. (For those of you not from Michigan, apparently all you need to say to describe any place in the northern part of the state is Up North and everyone seems to know exactly what you are talking about. Oh, Michigan, you are a funny place.) We had a cabin that was right next to a beautiful river that we got to canoe in and a pond that we attempted to fish in without success. There also was a really cool old mill pond up the river from us which I was fascinated by. We adventured out to Alpina for a couple nights to have fancy dinners and discovered according to Kevin the most amazing mozzarella sticks he has ever tasted, which he would know since he's kind of a connoisseur of them. 

We were quickly jolted back to reality on our ride home from Up North when I got a call from the mechanic that my car which we had dropped off previously was going to need about 1800 dollars worth of repairs. Yowza. Poor Milo (yes, my car has a name) is getting up there in years and has developed a host of problems including a sometimes leaky roof, a rusted out exhaust system, a broken AC system, and a cracked windshield. I love him, but not 1800 dollars worth so we decided to just fix the necessity of new brakes and leave the exhaust system alone as my car can still run with the way it is. So now I sound like I am driving a hot rod all the time, and during the summer I may have lost several pounds just through driving my car in the heat. However, its still getting me from Point A to Point B so I'm not complaining. 

 Today marks five months of marriage for us and I cannot even begin to sum up all the highs and lows of the past months in this one post so I'm going to end here with the promise of more frequent updates on life in Michigan, including our rambunctious kitten and my many crafting adventures. 

Newest member of the family - Tucker

Can I Have S'More, Sir?

Pie number four has officially been decided on for the wedding - s'more pie. 

Pouring in the chocolate

 

Agh - this pie is every camping fanatic/chocolate lovers dream dessert. It was made of all the sorts of deliciousness that you would hope would be in a pie that is all the amazing-ness of a s'more spread out into a full sized pie. And we are getting married at a campground so how could we not have a pie that embodies this tried and true camp staple.

I don't think that there is anything mysterious about what a s'more pie should include - graham crackers on the bottom with chocolate and marshmallows on top. And that is exactly what this pie had. A buttery graham cracker crust filled with rich chocolate ganache filling and topped with golden sugary marshmallows. 

Yum. Yum. Yum.

I loved this pie so much that I even made individual ones for all the lovely nurses I got to spend my day with on Mother's Day at work - delicious-ness in miniature form.

From A to Z

Or more accurately, apple pie to zucchini. I have been on a cooking marathon of sorts these past few days, literally six and half to seven hours in a row yesterday. And these are the end products of that insanity.

Finished Zucchini Dishes - Burger and 'Fries'

I am admittedly obsessed with the 'Oops! We bought too much' reduced price tray of the produce section at Meijers. I always check and see what sort of goodies are hiding out there and more often that not end up picking up a bag of some sort of vegetable on the brink of over-ripeness. This past week it was zucchini - probably eight medium sized ones for less than a dollar. Score. In the moment, its always exciting thinking how much money I just saved and how I'm sticking it to the man once more, but then reality sets in and I start thinking how the heck is one person going to consume all of this darn (insert any random fruit or vegetable here). Well friends, I was determined to not let any of this zucchini go to waste so I immediately went over to Skinnytaste to see what kind of delicious recipes I could find, and I was not disappointed.

First on the list, was a zucchini baked good of some sorts. I remembered having zucchini bread when I was younger so I knew that I wanted to attempt a lightened up version of that. I found a recipe for low fat chocolate chip zucchini bread which I decided to make into muffins so that they would already be in convenient single serving size. I don't own a hand grater currently so I was able to use the grating disc that came with my new food processor. It worked really well, but it only has one size for grating so the pieces were a bit bigger than they probably should have been which I was a tad nervous about and how that would affect the final product. Although the pieces of zucchini were a bit more apparent in the muffins, they were still so delicious! The taste was very similar to the zucchini bread I remember from growing up and with the added chocolatey goodness, the muffins are a wonderful breakfast treat. I froze most of the muffins so that they will last me a while and I can heat one up as I so desire.

All the Ingredients

Although, muffins were a great success, I was still left with several zucchinis to use up and so I was on to the next project - zucchini turkey burgers. This recipe had recently been highlighted on Skinnytaste as one that could be made and then frozen for future meals so I was doubly excited to try it out. The burgers were super easy to make, just take all the ingredients - grated onion, zucchini, and garlic, bread crumbs, lean ground turkey, and some seasonings - throw them in a bowl and mix together. The recipe says that it yields 5 burgers, but let me tell you these are good sized portions. In fact, I made one of them up for my dinner last night and ended up splitting it into two burgers and then only ate one. The rest of the burgers got individually wrapped up and then joined the muffins in my quickly filling up freezer.

The Finished Product - yum!

A little side note about freezing food - there is actually a method to this process that I just learned about which is making my life easier. Flash freezing. It makes the difference between opening your freezer bag and being faced with huge clump of food or nice single serving portions that you can pull out one at a time. It has literally changed my life. Okay that may be extreme, but it has saved me a lot of frustration and cursing and hacking at a small mound of frozen food with a butter knife trying to separate just enough for one meal. Flash freezing means you take whatever item you're working with and lay it out in a single layer on a cookie sheet (not touching) and then freeze it for a short time until it is starting to freeze and becoming a little hard to the touch. Then you can throw it all in the bag together and they don't freeze to one another. Its like magic. Maybe everyone else already knew this, but for me this little piece of information was revolutionary.

The Breading Process

As part of the cooking marathon/my new obsession with freezing food for future use, I was also making a bunch of healthy chicken nuggets so on days where I really don't feel like cooking I can just throw some of those in the oven and 10 minutes later have dinner in front of me. And since I already had all the breading all made up, I decided to throw one last zucchini recipe into the mix - baked zucchini sticks. Now, I honestly did not have all that much confidence in this recipe. It seems to me that people are always trying to make healthy alternatives to french fries with other not so loved vegetables and usually they are not that good. These zucchini sticks were actually quite delicious, not as a french fry substitute, because honestly zucchini is never going to replace a hot crispy oil drenched fried potato. But as their own separate entity, I thoroughly enjoyed them as a side with my zucchini turkey burger.

Now one would think from this post that all I do is cook healthy food and although that is true a good 95 - 99% of the time, I do allow myself to make full fat, delicious food every once in a great while. Enter the apple pie portion of this post. . I decided to tackle this traditional pie on my quest for the perfect wedding pies after I realized peach blackberry was out of the question when there was not one peach for sale at the grocery store. (My sister told me there was some sort of peaches contamination so I guess its a good thing.)

Halfway Done with the Lattice

Honestly, I just used some generic apple pie filling recipe I found online; it was nothing exciting - cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar, and flour mainly. Since the pie itself was nothing exciting, I decided to attempt my first lattice crust. I was preparing myself for something really complicated and time consuming, but I was pleasantly surprised. I Google-d how to make one and then I was off (seriously, what did people do before the Internet and search engines?).  Once the crust was done, I put the pie into the oven and began to clean up the kitchen from my day long cooking extravaganza.

Not twenty minutes later, I started to smell something burning and turned to see smoke making its way out of the vent in the top of my oven. And this is where I learned a valuable lesson about fruit pies. Fruit pies generally produce a lot of juice as they cook and as the pie gets hotter the juice starts to bubble. The juice often runs over the edge of your pie and down into the bottom of your oven where it will produce lots of smoke and force you to run around opening windows and praying that your smoke alarm doesn't go off. Well, live and learn I guess. And the apple pie came out unscathed.

Hung Up on Home-Made

I think I might have a serious craft addiction, or maybe more accurately, an addiction to anything home-made or do-it-yourself. On days I'm not at work, I'm either trying out a new recipe from Skinnytaste - potentially the most amazing healthy recipe blog ever -or trying to finish up one of the seemingly endless wedding projects I have taken on. And since the wedding is a mere twenty-five days away - agh! - I really have been buckling down on trying to start knocking things off the list, but it seems every time I cross one thing off, I see some other adorable project that I decide to add on. Its a never ending cycle at this point. In other exciting news, I convinced Kevin to entrust me with his camera so that I could post some higher quality pictures of my latest projects for you all. Therefore, the following is a random selection of some of my most recent escapades.



Asian Cabbage Mango Slaw

For some reason, Meijer has had what seems like a month long sale on mangoes and I have desperately been trying to think of ways to take advantage of this. I would buy one or two every week and end up cutting them up to put in my yogurt, but it seemed like there had to be a more exciting way to utilize mango. Then this recipe showed up on Skinnytaste and I decided to give it a go. It was the first time I have ever made slaw of any type and I think I might need to work on that particular dish a few more times before I get it quite right, but for a first attempt it wasn't too shabby. And it was a welcomed change of pace for my bagged lunch at work all week long.


Window Sill Garden


I saw a post online the other day about someone re-growing green onions in a glass jar on their kitchen window sill and I was instantly intrigued. I mean, who doesn't love the idea of food conveniently replenishing itself within arm's reach? In my mind, re-growing food = money saved. Sign me up. And then literally the next day, I saw another article about doing the same thing with celery and I knew I had to try. 

Day 1

I didn't have any glass jars that would work so I resorted to some short tin cans I had in my recycling. I cut off the bottom of a bunch of celery and the white part of a bundle of green onions, placed them in the cans, filled them with water, and set them out on the window sill and waited for the magic to begin. And surprise, surprise, the internet did not mislead me on this one. The center of the bunch of celery has started to sprout new leaves and I transplanted the entire bunch into a bigger can with soil today as suggested online. The green onions are starting to regrow new shoots and are about an inch tall now. 

The only thing I think I'll change in the future is the use of tin cans for growing in water, because the water is getting a rusty look to it after a day and so I've been having to change it a lot more than the recommended 2 - 3 days. Now that the celery is re-potted in the soil I won't have to worry about that; I'm going to keep my eye out for a small short glass jar the next time I go out thrift store hunting for the green onions and then I'll really be in business. And in even more exciting gardening news, the community garden at my apartment complex should be ready within the next week and I am getting my own plot - I cannot wait. Yay for free food! 

Today - starting to grow!

Costumes on a Stick


Today's big wedding project was making the props for the photobooth that will be at the reception. I originally thought I would just buy some fun accessories online from an Etsy shop, but then as has been the case multiple times throughout this whole wedding planning experience, I'll take a look at the listing and say to myself 'Holy crap, they want (insert dollar amount) for that?! I can totally make that by myself or I definitely know someone who I could convince to make that for us'. Thus far, I've gone through this exact process with the cake topper, my garter, the ring bearer 'pillow', and my veil to name a few. And this my friends is the key reason my wedding craft list doesn't seem to be getting any shorter. 

And so I found myself Google-ing 'Free Photobooth Printables' the other day while at Kevin's house. (Side note: I have told Kev numerous times how excited I am to get married so that I will finally be able to print things from the comfort of my own home since I don't own a printer. I think my exact words were, 'I can't wait for us to be married and you move into the apartment so that I can use your printer whenever I need to'. For some reason, he seems to take insult to this - strange.) I came across this post on Oh Happy Day - another fun blog I like to read and get inspiration/steal ideas from. The post included directions on how to make the props and a bunch of different cute hats, mustaches, and various other printables. 

Today, I Mod Podge-ed all the printouts from the website to card stock and then Mod Podge-ed the card stock to another sheet of card stock for increased durability - better safe than sorry was my reasoning. As the second round of Mod Podge-ing got underway and quickly became a huge pain, I did have the thought that it would have been a lot easier to just buy some thicker paper or use foam core board as was suggested. But I already had leftover card stock from our invitations and the whole point of doing this was to save money, and so I soldiered on. I then used a razor blade to carefully cut out all the images; amazingly I did this without one single injury. Once all the images were cut out, I used a hot glue gun to attach a dowel rod and voila - my very own, super inexpensive, but oh so adorable photobooth props on a stick.

Derby Pie Dilemma - An Update on the Pie Debate


I have, thanks to my dear friend Molly, a substantial and delicious sounding list of pies to still try and test out before the wedding. I brought Pie #1, to Kev at work the other night and it was a huge success with both him and his co-workers. Its really the perfect solution to bring it to the hockey rink for taste testing: 1) more people to survey as far as taste because Kevin isn't exactly known for having the most varied food preferences and 2) I don't have to worry about having the temptation of a homemade pie calling to me from the refrigerator. So when it came time to attempt a second pie, I felt a little more pressure to perform. I decided to attempt a version of Kentucky Derby Pie which apparently is a very highly copyright protected item and so is often referred to with many variations of that name to protect the innocent. Kentucky Derby Pie, Kentucky Bourbon Pie, Chocolate Bourbon Pie - they're all the same thing. This pie, as you have probably inferred from the name, consists of delicious Kentucky bourbon, walnuts, and semi-sweet chocolate - heavenly, no? I love all three of these things, so I was confident in this pie's chances. Until it came out of the oven. 

Kentucky Derby Bourbon Pie

Kentucky Bourbon Pie is not pretty. It looked bland and unappealing. I was crushed. But I decided to still bring it in for a taste testing, albeit nervously. I made Kev try it before we offered it to anyone else, but all my worries were in vain, because although it might not win in the looks department, Derby Pie is DELICIOUS. Oh my goodness, it is just as good as it sounds like it should be. So now I am faced with the dilemma - do I eliminate a delicious pie just because its not visually appealing? I'm just scared people won't give it a chance if they just see the uncut pie. Thoughts, ideas, and suggestions are appreciated as always.


En-Twined Hearts

Close-Up

This last craft project started off as a simple project for the reception, but after we finished putting it together I was so in love, it found a permanent home on my living room wall that very night. I first saw this project on another one of the endless wedding blogs that I like to browse. They used nails to outline the shape of a heart on what looked like a piece of plywood and then took hot pink string to fill the inside of the heart by running it back and forth between the nails. Then to really define the shape they went around the entire outline with the same string. 

Love it, Love it, Love it

For our heart, I used a piece of plywood about two by two and a half feet that I got for free from Home Depot. (I just asked if they had a 'remnant' bucket of sorts, which they didn't, but the employee gave me this leftover from another piece he had just cut.) I painted the plywood a dark, olive-y green to match our wedding colors. Then I made myself a heart template out of tissue paper and used small wire nails left over from another project to make the outline. Kevin took over at this point and used twine, also leftover from another wedding project, to fill in the heart. It came out more perfect than I had imagined and now I get to look at it ever day and it makes my heart so happy every time - doubly so, because we made it together. PS this sub-title is the clear winner for being the cheesiest ever, but I just couldn't help myself. 


Well, there you have it friends, a smattering of the crafts, plants, and dishes I've been working on, struggling with, and pulling off over the past weeks. And now it is way past my bedtime, gotta get to bed for another busy day of cooking, crafting, and creating tomorrow.

La La La, Life Is Wonderful

"When things are going smoothly, we tend to forget our essential dependence on God. At least I do. It's a subtle form of pride: I can take care of everything,things are humming along, life is sweet - why do I need God? It's usually when our defenses are lowered (usually against our will) and we find ourselves more vulnerable that we appreciate our reliance on God...That's why humility is central the spiritual life. For it is when we are where we don't want to be that we often meet God."

I have to admit that I have been in a slump of sorts lately. I can't seem to shake this deep sadness of the past few months. I'm not saying that its not normal to mourn and be sad about losing someone you love and missing them, but it had begun to take over every part of my life. And honestly, I was just wallowing in my despair and grief. Even though I could say all the right things to everyone else about moving on and accepting the situation, on the inside I was just so angry and not willing to see God's hand in any part of what happened. Not only was I dealing with the grief of losing my Pepe and my aunt so close together, but I was also still trying to come to terms with moving halfway across the county to a place where I don't really know anyone, and quite frankly I didn't much care for my new home state. Life in my opinion was not being very kind to me.

In the midst of my 'woe is me' phase, I started reading the book My Life with the Saints by James Martin SJ. In this book, a Jesuit priest details his relationship  with various saints and pillars of the church and the things he has learned from them. Each chapter highlights a different saint - Mother Teresa, St Thomas Aquinas, and Pedro Arrupe to name a few. It talks about how Martin first was introduced to the saint, a little history about the saint's life, and what Martin has learned as a result of getting to know the saint. Not being Catholic myself, I don't really know that much about a lot of traditional saints so I have really enjoyed getting to know these people and their stories through his writings.

In his chapter on the apostle Peter, Martin talks about the humanness of this apostle who is probably best known for his faults and stubbornness. Martin talks about how God loves us regardless of our shortcomings and how Peter is such a reflection of this. I mean, Peter's denial of Jesus not only once, but three times is the stuff of daytime soap opera drama. Its because of his faults though that Peter is so relate-able to us; his realization that due to his many shortcomings anything he accomplished was not through his own doing but due to Christ's work in him is what true humility is about. Martin then transitions this reliance on Christ into a discussion about human suffering and its place in our life - an excerpt from that section is at the top of this post. The first time I read it, I didn't think much of it, but rather just kind of breezed over the section and decided it didn't apply to me. I mean, he didn't know what I'd been through: moving halfway across the country, not knowing hardly anyone in my new home, being separated from my family during a really difficult time, and losing two family members three weeks apart. Then the next day I opened up my Bible and happened upon this verse in I Peter - Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want...Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. I knew that verse and that section of the book were intended for me, as much as I didn't want to admit it. 

It has been three months since Michelle died and I am in no way saying that I am over the loss of her life or that I will stop missing her. Nor am I saying that all of a sudden, I am going to love living far away from my family and friends. Rather, I am choosing to stop my personal pity party that has taken over so much of my life. Dorothee Soelle describes this decision as not welcoming suffering, but rather accepting it as part of life and looking at the new ways you can experience God as a result.

Life is wonderful and beautiful but its not perfect. And I am not perfect. But because of that fact, I am constantly reminded I cannot do it on my own. In my weakness, His power and love and grace is made known.

The Pie Debate

I have had this crazy idea in my head since Kevin and I got engaged and started planning our wedding that I wanted to have pies for dessert instead of traditional wedding cake. I mean our wedding is outdoors at a camp with the reception at a ball field complete with BBQ like food and corn hole - its kind of perfect. I've heard all sorts of responses when I tell people about the pies - some surprise, some slight disapproval, and some utter excitement. As a whole, most people seem to go along with our idea. 

Except for the second part to my idea, I want to bake the pies ourselves. This is where 'The Pie Debate' lives and has been plaguing us for quite some time. I absolutely love the idea of making our own pies with friends and family up at the Camp Shawnee kitchen where I already have made so many amazing memories. I love baking and cooking in general and think it would not only be a money saver, but also extremely fun. However, a lot of people are a tad more practical and don't fully support my craziness. Let's be honest, most brides probably do not want the added stress of upwards of twelve fruit pies hanging over their head the night before they're about to be married. I mean, a lot could go wrong and if the pies don't come out right than you're really in a pinch as far as dessert goes the next day. 

Despite every one's warning and pleadings, I am still one hundred percent sure that I want to bake a dozen or so pies the night before I get married surrounded by friends and family. I am doing my homework though; in that, I am going to have trial runs of the pies to be made on Friday night here first to ensure quality. Today, I tried out my first wedding pie recipe - an Apple Berry Pie with Crumb Topping. I didn't really follow one recipe, I pulled from a few different recipes and ended up with a Braebun apple, blackberry, strawberry, and raspberry filling with cardamom seasoning covered with a traditional crumb topping. It is cooling on my counter top as we speak and filling my apartment with the most heavenly smell you can imagine. I'm going to let it cool for a bit longer and then take it to my official taste tester - Kevin - to see if it passes the rigorous testing process for wedding excellence.

Wedding Pie Contestant #1

I think I'm going to try and have four or so different types of pie, so any suggestions for delicious, uncomplicated pies are welcomed and appreciated. Also, if anyone who is coming to our wedding would like to be involved in the pie making marathon please let me know and I will gladly add you to the roster!

Starting to Look Like Home

I am so pleased to finally be able to say that my sad empty apartment is slowly turning into a much more comfy inviting home. In case you all have forgotten the sad state of things, you can refresh your memory with my blog post from November - The Grand Tour. Since that time, I am so excited to say that I have picked up a few more pieces of furniture and even hung some things up on the walls. Its amazing what a couch and some pictures can do to make you feel so much more at home.

2nd Bedroom/Craft Room

Living Room (complete with original artwork by Andrea Gentile)

Living Room - this side still needs some help

Kitchen

Dining Room

Antique Store Finds

As part of my quest to decorate my apartment, I have become somewhat of a antique/thrift store junkie. Lucky for me (and maybe not so lucky for my bank account), there are several stores in Mason itself and then I have found a couple other quality establishments within a half hour drive. A lot of the stuff I end up purchasing are things that need a little TLC mainly because they are generally within my limited price range and because I do love a good craft project. So far, I've re-painted and re-upholstered one chair, re-used an old photo frame to make a place to hang multiple pictures from, and sanded down two wooden chairs that now need a coat of polyurethane to finish the job. Last week, our friends Danton and Paige introduced Kev and I to the Mega Mall which is a huge building with tons of little antique booths inside it. You can walk literally for hours up and down the aisles. There is a lot of junk there (aka a whole wall full of Beanie Babies - remember when you thought yours were going to make you rich one day?), but there is also a lot of really cool pieces of furniture and little trinkets and the like. I ended up purchasing an old bunk bed ladder which I'm going to turn into a display shelf of sorts for some old bottles I have.I also bought an old window that I'm going to try and beautify with stained glass to hang over my sink in my kitchen and that way I can pretend I'm looking outside instead of staring at the blank wall.

This whole super crafty phase is also stemming from the fact that I have been on semi constant DIY duty for the wedding. I had spent some serious time browsing DIY bridal blogs, Etsy, and Pinterest and had all sorts of fun ideas for everything I wanted to do for the wedding. And then I got super overwhelmed by the whole process and the expectations people have for you and all the decisions you have to make and just the whole big process of getting married. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. I'm 100% sure that Kevin would vouch for me completely on the fact that I might have been a little crazy for a minute there. But after some serious re-focusing and reading of the book A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene (P.S. I highly recommend this book to anyone getting married; in fact in about 72 days you can have my copy), I was able to hop off the crazy train and decide on several projects that meant the most to me. In the interest of keeping some suspense with the wedding, I am going to resist posting pictures of all the fun projects for now except for the button boutonnieres myself and my sister Andrea made that I am completely in love with.

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on. 

(Robert Frost)

I don't think there is really any other way to begin this blog post. Life lately has been taking me for quite the ride. I was having such a hard time right before the holidays because it was going to be my very first Christmas away from home. I couldn't even talk about anything related to the Christmas season without tearing up. I ended up getting my wish to go home, but not for any reason I would want. My grandfather ended up taking a sooner than expected turn for the worse right before Christmas and so I flew home to say goodbye. He ended up passing away on December 28th, and although it was difficult to lose him it was a blessing in disguise in that I got to spend my last Christmas as an unmarried woman with my family. 

This brings me to the first upswing of the roller coaster ride that has been my life as of late. On January 1st, a mere four days after losing my Pepe, Kevin got down on one knee at the end of the Chimney trail at Camp Shawnee and asked me to marry him. I couldn't have been more excited or happy and after staring at him dumbfounded for what I'm sure felt like an eternity I said yes. It couldn't have been a more perfect moment for both of us - the beginning of the rest of our lives starting right where we met on a mountain in the middle of Eastern Kentucky almost 4 years ago. We are so excited for this next big adventure.

I wish I could say that the upward route continued, but on January 18th I felt like the floor fell out from beneath me and I was in a free fall for the bottom. I got a phone call at work on that Wednesday afternoon to call home immediately for a family emergency. My family lost my Aunt Michelle that day very unexpectedly and it has been so difficult to deal with that loss. She was a stronghold for my entire family when things got crazy and it felt like she was the one person who could help us all deal with a difficult situation, but this time her not being there was the tragedy. And we were all so lost without her. I found myself back on another last minute flight to Rhode Island in less than a month and neither of them for happy times; it was such a surreal experience. I felt like I was in a movie where the main character stands still in the middle of all this busyness and activity whirling around them. Everything is moving so quickly around you, but you're frozen and nothing you do will make it stop. Sometimes it feels like I still haven't hit the bottom of the free fall and been snapped back to reality quite yet. 

Since that time, I have been trying to return to a sense of normalcy in my life in Michigan. I don't know how or if you try and go back to some time before everything you thought you knew changed. It's hard to go on without the ones we love and miss, but knowing that they would want you to continue on and that they are still watching does make it more bearable. Luckily, I have lots of exciting things to look forward to this year - especially the fact that I am marrying my best friend in a few short months. And that is how I want this year to be, I've had enough of the bad, bring on the good.