Yuletide Adventures

 Picking out a Christmas tree is serious business for Kevin and I. If you remember, last year we scaled the hillside surrounding our volunteer house in Kentucky to find just the right tree. (If you need a refresher on that gem of a tale, just click here!) This year since we are not living in the mountains of Kentucky, we decided it was probably not in our best interest to cut down a tree we spotted on the side of the highway. People tend to frown on that sort of behavior in the real world. 

 

So a couple weeks ago, Kevin and I decided to go to the Star Tree Farm to find the perfect tree for my first Christmas in Michigan. Star Tree Farm is a cute farm located just about halfway between my apartment and Kev's house and has three different types of trees to choose from on their 40 acre farm. Luckily, we did not have to peruse all 40 acres to find our tree. Although I thought Kevin might try to at one point in the adventure. I believe his exact words were 'I  like to look at all of them before I make a decision'. Thank goodness, he did not follow through on that threat.

After some perusal, we did find the perfect pine tree for my apartment and I got the honors of chopping, well really sawing, it down. For a minute, it was almost like being back in Kentucky cutting up firewood for Randis and Linda with Kate minus the fact that I still had feeling in my fingers and toes on this day. After I felled our tree, Kevin got it loaded up on our wagon and wheeled it to the Shake and Wrap Stations. They had this machine that you stuck the trunk of the tree down in and then it vibrated all the snow and loose needles off your tree before they wrapped it up. I was completely fascinated by it to say the least. I've been told that we have these thing-a-ma-bobs in Rhode Island, but I must have missed it when we were at Stop 'n Chop last year because this was a first for me. 

Kevin Working & Me Supervising

After we got our pine all trussed up, we had some delicious (and free!) hot chocolate before we headed back to the apartment to set up the tree. I'm going to be honest, I let Kevin take the lead on setting up the tree in the stand. I designated myself official picture taker and played paparazzi while he did all the work. 

The Finished Project

After we (really just Kevin) got the tree locked in the stand, it was time for lights. I am a firm believer in white lights only on a Christmas tree; the multi-colored lights come across as super tacky to me and now that I have my own place and my own tree I can gladly do away with them. After the lights, it was time for my ornaments which my dear mother was kind enough to send me all the way from Rhode Island. I know it was hard for her to part with them, but it was nice to have them and all the memories they hold here with me during my first Christmas season away from home.

Homemade Gift Tags

A first for me this year is the experience of trying to buy, wrap, and mail out Christmas gifts in time for them to get to their recipients by December 25th. The most time consuming part of this process for me was the wrapping of the presents as I decided this year to get a little creative. I used a combination of buttons, fabric, brown packaging paper and raffia ribbon to wrap every one's gifts. I only hope they make it to Rhode Island looking as cute as they did when I put them in their box today. 

Proof of the Cuteness

This morning I was able to finish everything up and head on down to the post office to send my presents and my love to my family. Unfortunately, half the town of Mason had the same schedule as I did so I was stuck in a pretty lengthy line before I was able to hand over the packages to the poor frazzled postal office workers. I think I was one of their easier customers though; I am not exaggerating when I say there was a man behind me in line with at least 10 to maybe 15 medium sized boxes all ready to be shipped out for the holidays. I would hate to even think how much he spent on postage.

Day 1001

I cannot believe that I have finally reached Day 1001. In some ways, it seems like forever ago and in others I can't even begin to comprehend how that much time has passed. I went back to my original blog post on my 101 list and I realized that there had been a couple changes to the list since that day. Over the past 1001 days I have changed a lot and along the way I adjusted some of the goals accordingly, but I'm going to go through my 101 tasks and update you on the status of all them based on the most recent list which I have been going off for a good seventy-five percent of this journey. I'll try and put in pictures of the ones that I can and link you back to posts where I originally had checked an item off the list.

So here it is, the final report:

#2 - View at the Top

1. No coffee or soda for 3 months - Completed

2. Climb Mount Monadnock- Completed

3. Run a 5K in under 35 minutes - Completed

4. Read Paradise Lost - Not done

• I honestly cannot even remember what led me to put this on the list. I don't know if I though reading this book would round out my literary education or what, but I tried about three times to read this book and every time I gave up about page 10. I am not even sad that I never crossed this one off the list.

5. One day of each week leave the TV off for 6 months- Completed 

• Honestly, this one wasn't that hard to accomplish since leaving college especially, I have really cut down on time spent killing my brain cells in front of the television. In fact, I don't even own a television at this point in my life and I don't miss it at all.

6. Make a list of 25 things I like about myself - Completed

7. Go to church at least 3 times a month for 3 months in a row - Completed

8. Give up fried food for 3 months - Completed

9. Stop biting my nails - Not done

• I would love to lie and cross this one off the list, but it seems that once I think I've managed to break this awful habit, I'll get super stressed out and then I'm back to square one. This is one list item I'm going to hold on to until I finish it.

#12 - Giving the valedictorian speech

10. Pass the NCLEX - Completed

11. Pass the HESI - Completed

12. Graduate from Riv with a GPA of 3.8 or higher- Completed

13. Go without music for 3 days - Not done

• I can't say for sure that I was able to do this over the past 1001 days. I originally put it on the list, because I used to have to listen to music at night to fall asleep. It was a coping mechanism that I wanted to be able to live without which I am now able to do with usually no problems. So in some ways, the purpose of this item was accomplished, but the actual task never got done so its left undone.

14. Apply to and get into graduate school - Not done

• This is one item that I've said before I gave up on completing within the 1001 days long ago. In deciding to volunteer for a year after college, I changed the whole time line I had imagined for going back to school. This is one that I'm going to hold on to for the future.

15. Establish and follow a consistent workout routine - Completed

16. Save a minimum of $1o a month into a savings account - Not done

• Epic fail is all I really have to say about this one. I did open a savings account, but that's about where this one ended.

17. Minimize swearing - Completed

18. Finish scrapbook of Europe - Not done

19. Take dancing lessons of some type - Completed

• Line Dancing at Jenny Wiley Campground in Eastern Kentucky - once in a lifetime experience.

20. Go on a road trip - Completed

21. Make a time capsule - Completed

22. Make homemade ravioli - Completed

23. Pay for 5 people at the drive thru behind me on separate occasions - Completed

24. Finish reading all of the Jane Austen books - Not done

• I got to all of them except for Emma and Mansfield Park which are both sitting on my bookshelf waiting for me to set aside the time to read them.

25. Take a photography class - Not done

26. Learn and memorize how to make 5 dishes from scratch - Completed

• The winning recipes are: Homemade Mac 'N Cheese, Spinach Calzones, Chicken Parmesan, Buffalo Chicken Quesadillas, and Minestrone Soup.

27. Donate hair to Locks of Love - Completed

28. Become an organ donor - Completed

29. Go to a Redsox Game at Fenway Park - Not done

30. Call Mom once a week for 2 months - Completed

#32 - Finished today

31. Go ice skating - Completed

32. Crochet a baby blanket - Completed

 

33. Go back to the mountain for camp - Completed x2

34. Build a piece of furniture - Completed

35. Spend day with Grandma learning how to make egg biscuits - Completed

36. Go visit Annie in the Bronx - Completed

37. Renew my passport - Completed

38. Make a list of 101 things that make me happy

• This has literally taken me all of the 1001 days to complete, but so worth it. A few of the things on the list include the show Modern Family, arranging things in ROYGBIV order, porch swings, and finding a wheat penny.

#38 - Letters from my Grandma

39. Visit 3 museums - 2/3 Completed

40. Take B-12 Vitamin every day for a month - Completed

41. Buy Dutch Blitz - Not done 

• This one kind of became obsolete when I moved to Kentucky because everyone of my camp friends basically has their own set of cards and now that I live in Michigan Kevin has a set and there's no point in both of us owning them.

42. Be able to do ten ‘manly’ push-ups - Completed

#42 - I think that about sums it up

43. Clean my closet out of clothes that I don’t wear - Completed

44. Attempt to/Donate blood three times a year for the duration - Completed

45. Make a quilt - Not done

• Although I never got around to doing this, I am confident that I will in the future as Kevin's mom is a wonderful quilter and has offered to teach me. I cannot wait!

46. Send a postcard to PostSecret.com - Completed

47. Weigh less on Day 1001 than I do on Day 1 - Completed

• This is something I put on the list very hesitantly since to fail at this one would be kind of hard to admit. But I decided to just go for it and I am so thankful that I have not had to admit failure in the least, in fact quite the opposite is true - about sixty pounds opposite.

48. Watch 20 Oscar Best Picture winners (that I have not seen yet) - 13/20 Completed

49. Go to a drive-in movie - Not done

50. Read the Bible from cover to cover - Completed

51. Visit 5 new states - Completed

52. Learn how to do a cartwheel - Completed

53. Blog about the list and how its going at least once every other week - Not done

54. Read 10 non-fiction books - Completed

55. Learn how to make sweet tea- Completed

56. Spell my name out in photographs - Completed

• I can't take full credit for this one as I had some help. My friend Kate as a going away present for when I left Kentucky gave me a framed version of this list item with both photos she and I had taken. I like to think it counts.

#56

57. See and take pictures of at least 5 sunrises - Not done

• The seeing part I can confidently check off, the picture taking I'm only 75% sure of.

58. Host a board game night - Completed

59. Identify 10 people who inspire me - Completed

• In no particular order: Florence Nightingale, Don Miller, Eva Pageau (my Meme), Father Ralph Beiting, Mother Teresa, Greg Mortenson, Gary Hirshberg, Prof. Pat Hagan, Paul Farmer, and Sister Dianna Ortiz.

60. Build a gingerbread house - Completed

61. Memorize a poem - Completed

• Fire and Ice by Frost and most of The Road Not Taken by Frost. I didn't say it had to be a long poem...

62. Get a massage - Completed

63. Send a message in a bottle - Not done

Part of #64

64. Make a collage of my camp pictures - Completed

65. Go skiing - Not done

66. Learn how to and make bread from scratch - Completed

67. Discover 20 new bands that I like and buy at least 5 of their cds - Completed

68. Visit Sammi at school or have her come visit me at school - Completed

69. Ride in a hot air balloon - Not done

70. See a Broadway play - Not done

71. Say a prayer every night for a month - Completed

72. Go to 5 concerts - Completed

73. Create 10 play lists of 10 songs each for 10 different emotions - Completed

74. Learn how to make Pic-A-Lili and make it with Mom - Not done

75. Go to the dentist - Completed

76. Floss every day for a month- Completed

77. Pay off library card debt - Completed

78. Don’t complain about anything for 3 days straight - Not done, many attempts however

79. Go horseback riding - Not done

80. Visit Grandpa’s grave - Completed

81. Send the Floyd House a Care Package - Completed

82. Send the Bloemker Family a package - Completed

83. Send the girls a picture and a letter - Completed

84. Clean out the boxes in my closet at home - Completed

85. Learn 5 new songs on the piano - Not done

86. Send Leia a care package before she comes back from AmeriCorps - Completed

87. Send Brian the 'Sticky and the Brain' Picture - Completed

88. Buy Friday Night Lights Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD - Not done

89. Watch the original Disney Movie Robin Hood from start to finish - Completed

90. Run for SGA President for Senior Year - Completed

91. Send Kim a postcard - Not done

92. Send another care package to a camp friend - Completed

93. Print out pictures to fill the frame Shawna made for me - Completed

94. Take a yoga class - Completed

95. Write Courtney a letter - Completed

#100 - The collection (also #38 - ROYGBIV)

96. Buy a nice camera - Not done

97. Learn how to change a tire on a car - Completed

98. Learn how to change the oil in a car - Kind of Completed

• I was taught how, but there are no guarantees I could pull it off by myself now.

99. Make a Zits comic strip book out of old calendars - Completed

100. Acquire 5 more bandannas of various colors - Completed

101. Donate 1 dollar to a charity for everything not completed on the list by Day 1001

And so the final count is this: seventy five items completed to the fullest and twenty six items left either half done or never started. This list has helped me do some things I never thought I could, and helped me realize I didn't actually want some things I thought I did. Although the perfectionist in me wishes I could be finishing day 1001 with nothing left on the list, I can say I am happy with what I've been able to do and all in all I'd consider my 101 list a success.

Now I just have to choose a charity to receive my twenty six dollars - choices, choices.

23 Going on 85

I have been meaning to blog about my recent crafting adventures for some time. Due to the fact that I used to have a ton of extra time on my hands combined with the fact that I still don't have much of a social life I have taken up several projects as of late. One of the main things I have started is crocheting which I have done on and off since I was younger, but never with much success. I decided to try my hand at it one more time and finally this time it stuck. I am working on a big project which cannot yet be revealed on the Internet, but I promise when its done I will post pictures. However, I can share with you my first completed project of which I am very proud.

About a month or so ago, I was desperately trying to come up with a gift for Kate and now that I don't have unlimited access to all sorts of fun power tools my options were limited. And then I decided to try to make her a hat, but not just any hat - a monkey hat. I found the pattern on another blog and decided to give it a go. It went amazingly well. In fact I was able to finish the entire hat in two days. The only problem was it came out about the right size for a 8 year old child's head. And so I had to repeat the process, but with a bigger crochet hook and another few days later I was able to finish the monkey hat and send it to her. I will admit I contemplated keeping it for myself, but I forced myself to send it off before I could change my mind.

Homemade Card

Another thing I have been doing a lot of lately is making homemade greeting cards of sorts. I've mainly just been utilizing scrapbooking supplies that I've had around for awhile, but this past Friday I was able to go to an actual card making class. At the class, you go in and there's supplies set out for four different cards and you can make one of each for a small price. 

My favorite

So I spent about an hour and a half on Friday with ten middle age to elderly ladies making cards. Just a typical Friday night in my life these days. Actually, that is much more exciting than my typical Friday night which usually consists of some reading, some baking, or some type of craft project and then going to bed before 10pm. I think I may be turning into a Grandma way before my time.

Well, I have to go check on the homemade granola I am currently in the middle of making. My dear friend Molly from Camp Shawnee sent me some for my birthday and I loved it so much I got the recipe from her and am now attempting to make my own. I wish I could link you the delicious smell that is coming out of my kitchen right  now because it is wonderful. I'm waiting for it to cool so I can add the dried fruit and bag it up for my breakfast - yum yum!

Delicious & Nutritious Granola

The Grand Tour

As promised, here are some pictures of the new apartment. And yes it really is that empty. I'm furniture challenged at the moment, but I'm working on it. 

I thought I would post the floor plan of my apartment so you might have something to reference to and then you might be able to picture it a little better. My apartment looks exactly like this except its flipped completely like a mirror image. I live in the front of my building so my view out my windows is mostly of the road and some other buildings, but I do get to see the most beautiful sunsets most nights. 

My dining room, kitchen, and the door to the laundry room.

My super empty living room.

The extra bedroom/my craft room.

The bathroom in the hallway.

My room (please note my ghetto fab night stand).

My walk-in closet.

Bathroom off my bedroom.

That about does it for the tour. It obviously is still in need of some TLC and decorative touches and some furniture, but I can't complain. I have a bed, a bathroom, a place to cook and even a table to eat at. The rest I'm sure will come with time.

Still Here

For all of you who have been concerned, please rest assured I am still alive. I have just had a crazy whirlwind of a last month or so. In fact, I think its almost been exactly a month since I last updated you all on life and so here is the long and short of it.

I spent most of the month of October orienting full time at Eaton Rapids Medical Center where I was hired per diem on their med/surg floor. Its a very small community hospital in the the town of Eaton Rapids, but everyone there has been super welcoming and helpful with aiding me in transitioning back into nursing. This week I started at Allegiance Health in Jackson where I will be working full time on a cardiopulmonary med/surg floor. I have in class orientation all this week from 8am to 4ish pm every day which can be more exhausting than working on the floor. Next week, I start my orientation on the floor and then I have one more week of classroom and then back to the floor for good. I will be orienting on days till mid December and then I will be transitioning into my full time nights position. So between working 36 hours a week at Allegiance and picking up extra days at Eaton Rapids, I will be kept very busy which I will not complain about as that's all I wanted for the last several months. 

On top of starting two new jobs, I also moved into my very first apartment in the middle of October. I really love my apartment and feel super blessed to have gotten it. Its a two bedroom second floor apartment in Mason, MI. It has two bathrooms, a spacious living room/dining room, a kitchen, and even a small laundry room with my very own washer and dryer - no laundry mat for me! The best part about it is that I got the apartment for the price of a one bedroom because there was a special when I signed my lease. Its almost too big for just me, and because I don't have much furniture its pretty empty. My living room is probably the worst as I don't own a TV, a couch, a coffee table, or really any decorations. In fact, right now its mostly full of the packaging from my bed which just arrived this past weekend. Up until that point, I'd been sleeping on my mattress on the floor with a milk crate for a night stand. The milk crate lives on, but I have now upgraded to sleeping on an actual bed. I'm not too concerned about my lack of furniture, I'm sure that I will eventually acquire more than I need but until then the floor works just fine for me. It is different to live all by myself, as I've spent most of the last few years living in community or the dorms where there's always someone else around. However, I am enjoying it and its giving me some time to work on some projects from my 101 list which I will hopefully be posting pictures of soon.

Speaking of pictures, I'm sure you all are anxious to see what the new casa looks like, but my camera has not made a miraculous recovery so I will have to borrow Kevin's camera some time soon and then post the photographs here for your viewing pleasure. 

Well, that's my life in a nutshell and its almost my bed time as I have work tomorrow at Allegiance from 8am to 4pm and then at Eaton Rapids from 7p - 11p. Working makes me an old person that goes to bed at 9:30 or I'm useless the next day. 

Goodnight!

And the Mist Clears...

Yesterday at church I heard the most beautiful analogy/story and I can't help but to share it with you. Its one of those things that you hear and it touches you so much that you want everyone you know to feel that same way. As the pastor was sharing, I began to jot down some notes and so here is my version of his story with some embellishments and a few thoughts of my own added on.

Lets imagine that you moved to Washington state during the 'gray season' where its always overcast and the clouds constantly fill the sky. The locals tell you that there is a beautiful mountain nearby. You look around in disbelief and up at the dense clouds and ask where is this mountain? They point towards one of the clouds and say 'Right over there'. You scoff at them, because as long as you  have lived there you have never seen anything but clouds, clouds, and more clouds. As the days and weeks drag on, the more you hear about this mountain and how wonderful it is without ever actually seeing any definitive proof, the more you begin to think this whole notion of a mountain existing somewhere out in the cloud cover is a big hoax. Its not that you don't want to believe in the mountain, you want to, but it just seems impossible. You soon reach a point where you so doubt the claims of a mountain that you decide to rebel. You form a Mountain Deniers Club and hold meetings in a local coffee shop. Of course, at these meetings you often are interrupted by people who claim to have seen the mysterious mountain and you argue back and forth often about its existence. But these arguments get you no closer to discovering if there is actually anything behind the clouds.

You come to the realization the only real way to solve the mystery is to head out in the direction of the supposed mountain. So you set out on your journey but its hard to see where your feet are taking you because of the fog. Soon you notice that you are climbing and that the trail is switch-backing its way upwards. Your faith begins to grow a little stronger. As you climb higher, the clouds start to thin and you begin to see the outline of the mountain you are climbing. Its not completely clear to you, but you start to believe in it. Eventually, you reach the top and the mist clears and you can finally see it in all its glory, completely revealed, and all of its majesty is there for you to behold.

Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever heard? When the pastor told this story, I could picture the whole scene in my head - the beautiful mountains shrouded in fog, the winding trail, and the sun breaking through the mist revealing the beauty awaiting the traveler. I could see myself on the journey and feel the joy of finally seeing the thing I had heard so much about and wanted to know for myself.

And isn't this the only way to truly find and come to know God? You have to set out in His direction. You don't have to believe necessarily that what you're looking for is out there, but you just start to move towards it. And eventually you find yourself smack dab in the middle of His presence and your doubts fade. Rob Bell, an author I enjoy, described it in one of his books like jumping on a trampoline. He said that if the trampoline was a relationship with God then all the springs are the doctrines of the faith. You don't necessarily have to believe in all of those springs to start jumping. And Paul, another author who I admire, said this about the end result of taking a journey up a mountain we're not so sure exists "we find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand – out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory". 


Sometimes I sense that we think have to wait until we have all the answers before we can start a relationship with Christ, but from what I can tell that seems to be the furthest from the truth. You just have to start, whether you picture yourself jumping on a trampoline or you see yourself on the journey to an unknown place, once you do that, He'll take care of the rest. He's already done all the work, its up to us to make the move towards Him.

When It Rains, It Pours

If you had asked me last week at this time what my biggest concern was than I would have told you it was getting a job. Fast forward to yesterday, and I would have had to tell you that it was choosing between two job offers. Funny how God works isn't it?

This past week I was offered three different nursing jobs over the course of three different days. I went from having no potential jobs and feeling at a loss for what should be my next step to being overwhelmed by my employment options. It started Wednesday when I received a voicemail message from one hospital telling me that although they had filled the full time position I had applied for that they were interested in hiring me on as a per diem nurse. On Thursday, I received a call from another hospital in Jackson, MI offering me a full time Registered Nurse position on a cardiopulmonary medical surgical floor on the night shift. Finally, on Friday, I was also offered another full time Registered Nurse position on a general medical surgical floor on the night shift along with an every other weekend rotation for a hospital in Grand Rapids. 

As exciting as multiple job offers are, they also posed a new problem - having to choose between the two full time offers. Before getting the third offer, I admittedly had prayed that they wouldn't offer me the job so that the decision would be made for me as ridiculous as that may sound. However, as you know that is not how the situation played out, and instead I was faced with weighing the pros and cons of each offer. And after a lot of time and thinking and praying and re-thinking, I was finally able to make a decision. 

So now I can proudly say that I am an employee of 6 NorthWest at Allegiance Health in Jackson. I am so thankful for this opportunity and excited to (finally) begin my nursing career. Unfortunately, the job doesn't start till the beginning of November because of their orientation schedule, but there's an upside to that as well. Remember the first job offer for a per diem position? I'm still waiting to get in touch with them, but I'm hoping that I will be able to pick up some shifts there while I wait for my full time position to begin. And if not, then I will take the time to enjoy one last month of unemployment and free time before I join the rest of the working world. 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, 

to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) 

The End of September

September marks my first full month in my new state of residence; in fact its been over five weeks since I made the very long drive out here to begin this new exciting phase of life. Mid August to the end of September is kind of a crazy time in general for me as far as important life events go and so adding in the excitement of moving halfway across the country and the ongoing drudgery of trying to procure a job has really pushed this month and a half to its limits. These past five weeks have been interesting, exciting at times, deathly boring at others, and full of new life experiences.
Since I've already updated you on the not so exciting or successful job search (which is still on-going), I thought I could also share about some of the more enjoyable activities I have been able to do since moving here.

For those of you who don't know, my birthday is in September and so to celebrate my 23rd year on this lovely planet, Kevin and I went to a local apple orchard and cider mill. We went in the early afternoon in the middle of the week so we had almost the entire place to ourselves. There were four or five different types of apples being picked at the time and we decided to try and grab a couple of each. We picked Jonamacs, Galas, Cortlands, and MacIntosh legally, and despite my misgivings we may have also snagged a few Golden and Red Delicious that we passed by.

The Country Mill which is located in Charlotte, MI also makes their very own donuts and cider on site which we were able to sample after we finished gathering our half a bushel of apples. I was especially fascinated by the cider tap which we used to fill our gallon jug of cider; both the cider tap and its contents were amazing. After the orchard, we went home and cooked up some dinner and the ended the night with some desert and candles. I opted out of cake for my birthday, and instead we made an apple crisp and just stuck the candles in the frozen yogurt. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.


In a more recent adventure, I was able to have my first Michigan fishing experience. I have not had the opportunity to fish at all over the past few years, except for a few random attempts at the Camp Shawnee pond which were entirely unsuccessful. So I was super excited to be able to spend my day with Kevin on Lake Ovid at Sleepy Hollow State Park to celebrate our one year anniversary and to finally test out my new fishing pole. We rented a small row boat and I can now say that I have somewhat mastered the skill of controlling a row boat. I will admit that we spent a good five minutes going in circles until I figured out the whole steering part, but I did eventually manage to get it under control. According to Kevin, fish like 'structure' so we parked our boat near a dock in a small cove and spent the rest of our afternoon there fishing. He was right because the fish never stopped biting and we even managed to catch five, albeit very small, fish between the two of us.

My First Fish

Hopefully, October will bring a whole new set of adventures, mainly the beginning of my nursing career. That is one adventure I am completely ready to take on at any moment.

Thank You For Your Interest...

...but we have selected another candidate who best meets our current needs at this time.

...but the position you applied for has already been filled.

...but we have identified candidates who more closely match the requirements of the position.


I cannot tell you how many of these emails I have received over the past three to four months while I have been searching desperately for a nursing job. They try to put it nicely or word it in a way that isn't quite so direct, but its hard not to read between the lines and see: you aren't good enough.

If I'm being brutally honest, it has not been easy getting rejected time and time again for one nursing job after the other. I did well in school. I not only excelled academically, but I was involved in various extra-curricular activities and leadership roles. To top it off, I have a degree in the health care field, getting a job was going to be easy or so I was told. I have learned, along with a lot of my fellow nursing school graduates, this is often not the case. Hospitals want someone who has experience, someone who they won't have to spend so much time and money orienting, someone who is less likely to burn out than a new grad just getting into their career.

To them, I am a huge risk. I have little actual nursing experience and therefore I am more of a liability than an asset. However, I will never make that transition unless someone, anyone gives me a chance. I am still in the painful process of finding that someone, that one organization, that is willing to take me on. I've filled out countless online applications, scoured the web looking for nearby hospitals with openings, called numerous Human Resource Departments, gone to job fairs and several interviews, but so far its all just ended in disappointment.

After a while, it really starts to get to your psyche. I mean for a while I was getting four to five rejection emails a week saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. Its hard to see that pop up in your inbox almost daily and consequently feel your self-esteem slowly deflate.

Now, I do not say all of this so that you all can throw me a pity party where we all sit around and talk about 'poor Bethanie', because really, honestly, in the big scheme of things, my problems are minuscule compared to what some people are going through. I still, thanks to the generosity of others, have a place to live and food to eat, I have a car, and I even have a job interview tomorrow. So life really isn't that bad. In fact, life is wonderful and beautiful, no matter how frustrating this phase of it is at the moment.  

As far as the crushing blows to my self-esteem, I even came up with a solution for that. I decided to make myself complete #6 - make a list of 25 things I like about myself. I honestly have been dreading this list item since I wrote it down. Our society as a whole is more comfortable pointing out the negative things we see. We look at something beautiful and manage to find the one error and blow it up and make it the focus. We find it much more difficult to find the positive in others and especially ourselves. And I am by no means exempt from this epidemic of negativity, but I am fighting back. I wrote down on paper twenty five things that I like about myself - ranging from physical to mental to spiritual and everything in between. Now, I am not that self-absorbed or brave enough to post that list here, but rest assured it does exist. In place of the list, I'll leave this quote in hopes that maybe it might inspire you to find the good in yourself as well, no matter what everyone else is telling you.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that

other people won't feel insecure around you. 

We are all meant to shine, as children do. 

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~Marianne Williamson 

Ravioli & Rice Pie

Yesterday, in a serious campaign against another boring day in my unemployed life, I decided to take on task number twenty-two - make homemade ravioli. And if that wasn't enough to do for one day I also decided to make my first attempt at re-creating my grandmother's rice pie. I know, I know; my heart could barely handle all the excitement either.

Ingredients & Recipe

I started off my cooking extravaganza with making the pasta dough which surprisingly only consists of three ingredients: egg yolks, flour, and water. First, I put 3 cups of flour in a large bowl and made a crater in the middle which I next filled with 5 beaten egg yolks. Using my hands, I mixed these two ingredients together adding water as needed until I had firm, but sticky dough. I then kneaded the dough for about ten minutes at which point the dough was a lot smoother and kind of stretchy. Kneading the dough takes a while and honestly, I was kind of winging it because I wasn't sure of the exact process, but it seemed to be going in the right direction so I went with it. I then put the dough aside to rest until I was ready for the next step in the process.



While the dough was resting, I started on the rice pie. Now my grandmother's rice pie is famous within my family which makes attempting it a daunting task. She makes them for Easter and it is a favorite among my family - especially my brother. In fact, there's a story that always gets brought up at the mention of rice pie when my brother is around. My grandmother often makes rice pies to give away to different people including my family. Well, one time she entrusted Nathan with this pie and he brought it home and didn't tell a single person about it, but instead ate nearly the whole thing by himself. True story. So I have high expectations to live up to if I plan on ever letting my family try my version of this treat. Rice pie for those of you who have never had it before is basically what the name implies - a pie of sorts with a sweet rice filling that includes cinnamon, ricotta cheese, and crushed pineapple to name a few things. I got the recipe from my grandmother who like a lot of good cooks doesn't actually measure when she cooks which makes her written down measurements more of a guess than actual fact. In turn, this complicates things for me further as I've never seen her make rice pie which would help with the whole guessing game of adjusting the recipe as needed. To start the rice pie, I set out to cook the rice which for some reason was more complicated to me than it should have been. I think I misunderstood her directions and just tried to boil it until tender rather than just cooking it normally which I think is my best bet for future attempts.

The Crust

While the rice was cooking, I set out to make the crust which was also my grandmother's recipe. Just as with her filling recipe, these measurements were also guesses, but it came out great with no real adjustments. I then finished mixing up the filling for the rice pie which is where I had my biggest moment of doubt. The filling had several liquid components to it which watered it down quite a bit and it looked extremely runny which I had been warned against so I wasn't sure if it was going to cook properly. However, at this point there really wasn't anything I could change so I just went with it and filled two 9x2 loaf pans and popped them in the oven, all the while with my fingers crossed hoping for the best. They had to cook for an hour which allowed me to turn my focus back to the ravioli.


Before I could begin actually putting together my ravioli, I still had to make my filling. I decided to go with a relatively simple ricotta and spinach filling. However, if you're interested in making your own ravioli there are literally hundreds of ideas online for different and interesting fillings. The recipe I decided to go with called for: 1 pound each of fresh (cook it first!) spinach and ricotta cheese, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon of nutmeg, 4 tablespoons of Parmesan cheese, and salt and pepper to taste. Mix it all up and viola, you have a delicious filling ready to be placed inside some freshly made pasta dough.


With the filling ready to go, I was now ready to begin the actual ravioli making process. I separated my dough into 4 pieces and rolled them out one at a time into about 1/8 inch thick rectangles which I cut in half - one for the top and one for the bottom. I originally was going to make the ravioli with just a knife and a fork, but Kevin's parents happen to have a ravioli maker of sorts which I decided to use. Unfortunately, there were no directions and I am 99% sure I did not fully take advantage of this machine because it didn't really cut them out as I had anticipated, but it was a good guide as far as the size of the ravioli and the amount of filling to put inside. I would lay out the bottom sheet of dough, place the filling at appropriate intervals, rub egg yolk - the glue - all in between the filling and then lay on the top sheet and press down on the ravioli stamper. The ravioli maker/stamper didn't cut all the way through the dough so I had to go back and finish the cut with a butter knife most times, but other than that it wasn't difficult at all. I got ten ravioli out of each of the 4 sections and was able to get another 8 or so good ones out of the scraps left over. The only ones I had trouble with were the ones I tried to make out of the leftover scraps. The dough seemed overworked and wouldn't roll out thin enough and wasn't holding together as well. In the end though, I was left with a decent amount of well-made raviolis - ready to be cooked and eaten.

The Good Ones

Now that my ravioli were made, it was time to cook them, but first I had to get my rice pies out of the oven which had thankfully lost their runny look and seemed to be on the right track. I ended up leaving them in the oven a little longer than an hour because I wasn't sure if they were cooked all the way through, but after an extra ten minutes the tops were browned and the filling was firm which seemed to be the test for doneness according to the recipe. I took them out and set them on the counter to cool for their later test taste - which they did pass with flying colors.


With the rice pie finished, it was time for the ravioli to complete their journey to the plate via being cooked. My biggest concern with the ravioli was that when I went to go boil them that they would split open and then I would be left with only plain squares of pasta floating around in a very, very watered down cheese and spinach sauce of sorts. I'm sure it would be just as gross as it sounds. Freshly made ravioli only has to be cooked for 3 to 5 minutes in boiling water so I was hoping they could survive that short amount of time. Thankfully, my fears were unfounded as all the ravioli made it through their cooking time without any incident. All that there was left to do was finally sit down and eat them which as we all know if everything goes as planned is the best part of any cooking experience. And these ravioli did not disappoint.

The Final Products

Home-made Spinach & Ricotta Ravioli

Grandma's Rice Pie